Over the weekend, some friends got married in a Roman Catholic wedding. It was a lovely wedding and reception. Afterwards, I posted to the bride’s Facebook page the following. I hope it helps any of you who are married or going to be married.
You guys make a cute couple!
Basic rules for marriage survival, worth about $1000 in psychotherapy fees and God knows how much in divorce lawyer fees and alimony/palimony:
1. The Vulcan Mind Meld is not part of the usual Roman canon for a marriage service. Don’t pretend that you have that ability. Ever. Always confirm your perceptions before acting on them.
2. Always say “Thanks” and “Please” while looking in your spouse’s eyes.
3. Say “I love you” at least 3 times per day. And mean it each and every time.
4. Never forget each other’s humanity.
5. Cultivate the following three attitudes every day in your relationship: curiosity, compassion, and open-mindedness. Always ask yourself if you have those three attitudes in place before entering into an argument.
6. Arguments are not failures in the relationship. They are simply opportunities to get to know each other better.
7. It is always far easier in the short run to give into the heat of emotion in an argument and strike out rather than listen and brainstorm with your spouse, which is always far easier in the long run.
8. See your marriage as an investment. Invest daily. Buy low, sell high.
9. Marriage is a menage a trois. When you feel lost in it, ask God to help you both find the right answer.
10. The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.
Bonus: the toilet seat always goes up. But then, you already know that this is established fact.
Good luck, and my wife and I are always available.
Have a good week, people.